escapist
i just got back from two weeks of rock and rollin' around the country- north to south. if my boss hadn't stopped me, i should have been in tuguegarao by now, scared shit (not really) of rebels kidnapping me. two weeks of barely enough sleep. lots of alcohol. lots of nicotine. and plenty of players.
baguio was fuckin cold. i jogged in the morning- took in the pine-scented early morning air. it numbed my brain. the dude i jogged with talked non-stop about airsoft and war games. so everything was good.
davao was deliciously fun and warm. i liked the sun on my skin. i said to someone about two months ago that i would kiss a total stranger. well, the lead vocals of the band kissed me. i was shocked but what the hell. the kid was cute and he was singing pink floyd stuff. could you really blame me?
on to cebu... cebu was tiring. i got sick in cebu. i got sick remembering the last time i was there. in the same hotel. with the same crowd of people as audience to please. sick to my stomach thinking i should be kicking and screaming. crying, crushing things, throwing insults at anyone, at the wall, at the night. instead- there i was shouting at the band, singing along: It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss!
back in manila, i have to deal with some very nasty truths. and working late again. missing my coffee breaks. making up excuses why my eyes look sad. telling them all i'm ok.
goodbyes suck.
baguio was fuckin cold. i jogged in the morning- took in the pine-scented early morning air. it numbed my brain. the dude i jogged with talked non-stop about airsoft and war games. so everything was good.
davao was deliciously fun and warm. i liked the sun on my skin. i said to someone about two months ago that i would kiss a total stranger. well, the lead vocals of the band kissed me. i was shocked but what the hell. the kid was cute and he was singing pink floyd stuff. could you really blame me?
on to cebu... cebu was tiring. i got sick in cebu. i got sick remembering the last time i was there. in the same hotel. with the same crowd of people as audience to please. sick to my stomach thinking i should be kicking and screaming. crying, crushing things, throwing insults at anyone, at the wall, at the night. instead- there i was shouting at the band, singing along: It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss!
back in manila, i have to deal with some very nasty truths. and working late again. missing my coffee breaks. making up excuses why my eyes look sad. telling them all i'm ok.
goodbyes suck.
entrada de bismuth a las
10:20 p. m.
7 comentarios:
baguio was cold? no way. you don't get to complain about cold. i'm living in a goddamn ice castle over here.
i can't survive in cold conditions. my fingernails turn blue with just the normal office AC. thank god i was born in the tropics.
had a great time, so sorry though i wasn't able to join the overnight. like u, i have to work "late nights" too ;)
but really, thanks for opening up and sharing with me that glimpse, that rarity of stillness, for i understand what bothers you and why your eyes could not hide behind excuses.
we all noticed that sadness in your eyes, but like many bitter truths in our group, some of us thought it is indecent to openly ask you about it. we all know why you are sad, anyway. or at least we assume we know.
that, too, will pass.
i believe you will be okay, even when your eyes say otherwise.
Whatever happened to our group after college? Indecency was always part of our conversation and we could ask anyone anything.
now we just blurt things out. and we don't need to ask.
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