lunes, febrero 08, 2010

30

let's see:
  • move out and live on my own: check
  • swim in Mt. Pinatubo's crater lake: check
  • drive and own a car: check
  • head my own department: check
  • wish in a temple in angkor wat: check
everything in my tick off list for my 20's seem childish to me now. i was thinking those were the things i needed to do to prove i knew how to truly live an emancipated life. but now, it seems like i've reached the top of something and i'm looking at a whole new geography- an era that will decide where i'd be at the end of my life and who would be there with me. and on the other side of this top view perspective- i see my past. a past i'm glad to leave behind. realities that are hazy at their best that only certain feelings remain. feelings that used to be details and real people, speech, touch, scents, kisses, colors - a different universe.

who was i in the previous decade of my life? and who would i want to be in the next? i could perhaps remember to be anything i want and everything i want to become at this point.

entrada de bismuth a las 1:09 p. m.

6 comentarios:

Blogger Ingrid C. ha dicho...

Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.

11:12 p. m.  
Blogger Ingrid C. ha dicho...

should we dread the 30's? i think we should. it's a decade of expectations. by the time we're 40, the world would have already given up on us. i can't wait to be 40 and still be friends with you guys.

11:13 p. m.  
Blogger bismuth ha dicho...

being 30 is like being 15 again. deciding what course to take. which college to go to. lose virginity or not before marriage.

being 30 is full of decisions to make. decisions that would inevitably decide who we'd be for the rest of our adult lives.

in our 20's we just followed what looked like the natural flow of fortunes.

now, we have to make those milestone decisions again.

or maybe we're just kidding ourselves? age doesn't really matter. time does not exist.

7:23 p. m.  
Blogger ennui ha dicho...

siguro i'm 40 now. i've given up on making smart decisions. life is too short to worry about life. ☺

9:50 p. m.  
Blogger Adrian ha dicho...

cool expression! do you mind if i follow?

i think the 30s are much more serious. the older you get, the less second chances you get. you can make dumb decisions when you are young and rebound quite easily. making dumb decisions when you are in your thirties can cost you years. making them in your forties can cost you a decade. anyways, what do i know? lol...

9:04 a. m.  
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3:14 p. m.  

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