wallow wallow wallow wallow - say it over and over until it feels good
drowning in bliss one moment and dying from exasperation the next, i dropped everything i had to finish this morning and stared at my pc confused.
i keep seeing her face. after six years of forgetting, i find that it is not possible to not remember.
she wasn't the friend i envisioned i could share everything with. there will always be something about me that she wouldn't understand. i never convinced myself that she would always need me. though in my heart i wished she would. i knew she was stronger.
i think there has never been a day when i do not think about her.
i like to believe that she still loves to dance. and cry at sappy movies. that we'd still have fights over candy music she loves and i hate. that she'd still bring nme a box doughnuts to ease a heartbreak. that someday, we'd still sit on a swing with a pint of ice cream each and imagine our toes could touch the clouds.
i tell myself it must be because i feel old these days and i desperately hang on to the faint traces of my childhood. i am not happy with the person i'm turning out to be.
too practical. too hung up with the trappings of the corporate world. i am not kind to people who ask questions. i look down on people. i have become the scheming, apolitical brat i hate.
i keep seeing her face. after six years of forgetting, i find that it is not possible to not remember.
she wasn't the friend i envisioned i could share everything with. there will always be something about me that she wouldn't understand. i never convinced myself that she would always need me. though in my heart i wished she would. i knew she was stronger.
i think there has never been a day when i do not think about her.
i like to believe that she still loves to dance. and cry at sappy movies. that we'd still have fights over candy music she loves and i hate. that she'd still bring nme a box doughnuts to ease a heartbreak. that someday, we'd still sit on a swing with a pint of ice cream each and imagine our toes could touch the clouds.
i tell myself it must be because i feel old these days and i desperately hang on to the faint traces of my childhood. i am not happy with the person i'm turning out to be.
too practical. too hung up with the trappings of the corporate world. i am not kind to people who ask questions. i look down on people. i have become the scheming, apolitical brat i hate.
entrada de bismuth a las
8:37 p. m.
5 comentarios:
are you aware that i love you even if?
that was a question, by the way.
It's the darndest thing, forgetting.
--ennui
sit on a swing and imagine your feet touching the clouds again, this time, alone. you can still do it, you know.
It was very nice seeing you last Monday. I haven't had a heart2heart talk with you like that in years. Here's to a euphoric 2005 (I hope!) Ü
thank you friend. i needed to let out the perkiness and the over-analyzed ideas on forgetting and moving on and gasp! flirting! : )
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