aborted bliss
i come back a different person. even my shadow falls on the wall differently- elongated three degrees obliquely. old scars start to hurt in the cold
i stripped naked and swam too far out into the ocean. i remember wishing I never had to go back. let the current take me. the sun burn me. salt tasted good on my lips. let the undertow get a fast grip on my ankles. let no one see i was swimming away, swimming under, swimming far till my limbs stopped their struggle.
and then they-the merrymakers of tequila sunsets and shamans of self-confessed faiths-turned their eyes on me.
reggae baby. dance. kiss. fuck. kill. die.
you are not much different after all. puff? it’s all good man.
don’t ask. bad luck to look back lest you freeze into a pillar of salt. no, no rituals here. see that girl that beats the
he gives you a smile, see? see how coyly he gives it. in a moment, faster than you think, he takes your soul.
go peddle your heart somewhere else. it’s no use to you. it’s no use to me.
slow baby. breathe. just keep time.
you are no different. love it. you must.
entrada de bismuth a las
11:57 p. m.
9 comentarios:
Beautiful is the best word for this - I could use more like dichotomous, metaphorical, portentous, but I won't.
Anyway, I think I got most of the layers of meaning from this one - well I got most of my layers of meaning, which is all one can do really, isn't it?
give it time, and you will be rewriting this in a happier tune.
why can't there be isolated moments? a moment where you can do anything and be whoever you want to be. then, that moment won't trigger other moments into being. imagine how life would be happier for people like me. it's the consequences i'm not comfortable with. but you're probably right. someday i'll write about it in a happier note , when i'm driving your karman ghia on some country road.
hey ruksak. too many veils here, i agree. what did you get from this?
For me this one was mainly about death - but life before it - as is the usual way I believe.
Anyway, anyone can write about death, write is all we can do about it in fact. It was how you did it that was startlingly good - from the reasping sun of the day, for me, symbolising the dumbness of youth (from death's perspective) to the long shadows which grow shorter as the day goes on - the shadow rescinding into the body - consuming it as night comes.
And that was just the lair of light and dark, but you also include liquid - which life also. Loss of liquid means death and you talk of 'freezing into a pillar of salt' - dryness. Whereas before you 'swam too far into the ocean' and sun burned you and you enjoyed the taste of salt, because youth plays with death not really understanding it.
And, as you say, love it we must - breathing that is - because the day will end.
So, does that answer your question?
ruksak - incredibly perceptive deconstruction of bismuth's oneiric manifesto. Ü
bismuth - gripping. my "twin for a night" post is brought to shame. we should meet more often so u can rekindle the fluency i seem to be losing.
Deep as the ocean.
I think Ruk's take on it is a good one but like any set of metaphors it comes velvet soft and multi-layered. That is the joy of reading a piece and of writing it isn't it? The way you or I or Ruk can camoflage our meanings that then can be interpreted in various ways? And again Ruk is right, beautiful IS the best word for it.
the problem with genius writing penned by a genius friend is that you don't dare deconstruct it because you know exactly what she's talking about. you do know i love you, honey, right? i would totally do a threesome with you if i didn't respect you so much.
hee. and no, that wasn't what aborted bliss was all about.
won't even try to delve into metaphors and meanings here. this is all i can say: Write more often, you bitch! you write too well. not updating your blog regularly is almost a sin.
thanks ruksak for that. it has many meanings for me too. like you said, the young likes to court death because they do not have a full grasp of it. it's the natural tendency to decipher the mysterious. or in their restlessness, to curtail any real beginnings, picking up the pace every revolution of events.
trans, i respect you too much too.
ennui, coffee and nicotine anytime.
cj, it warms my heart to read that comment from a great writer.
slim, righ back at ya! end that hiatus. swim the ocean in the vicinity. swim where we can watch.
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