finders keepers

i've lost something. i'm not sure what. or why. i just know when.
it was when i saw you again, quite unexpectedly. we didn't even bother to say hello.
it feels like it was too long ago. perhaps i just imagined most of it to be. willed them to being- those crazy hours we kept. and the hilarious surprises that kept us awake.
awake and aware of the tiniest details of our everyday that sprung to life.

too bad i didn't find you first. too bad i couldn't fight against misery and you leaving me.

should you want to know- yes, it was my birthday. and yes, i expected something out of the ordinary. like, perhaps, you coming back. or not. just a word from you?

what is it that i've lost?